September 14, 2008

...leaky roof...Gotchya!

Just a follow up to the last post.

Rob and Sylvia's house actually looks like this:


Mission accomplished...Rob called around and left messages with me and his tenants, and fired off a few inquiring emails (read: "I had no idea work was being done to the house."). Eventually he got on the horn with Ryan who had the privilege of snickering while having Rob casually ask about his house. At that point it was revealed that he had been taken by our conspiracy. Definitely worth the hour of digital image manipulation.

It's just our way of showing that we haven't forgotten about you guys!

September 12, 2008

early morning walks and leaky roofs...

The last couple of days I have a canine alarm clock. At around 6:30 (am!) I hear the ticking of claws on the wood floors, followed by a snout at bed level poking at my hand. Being early and a beautiful morning I thought to bring my camera along for the morning walk. Well...more like a sniff & crap...but anyway, on through the alleys. Cruising by the Serrouya-Woods house I saw the work that has been done(so far?) on the purported leaky roof.

Whoever is working on it, I hope they thought to cover that strange black hole-like thing before the torrential shower this afternoon. I think Loki pissed on their fence as I was taking the picture. The subsequent attempts at sunrise pics didn't turn out. But the 7:00am Modern sure did!

September 11, 2008

touching my void...

Have you ever had that "just moved in" feeling? I have. I was lucky enough to be reincarnated into a child belonging to parents who are chronic movers. Since I've been around I've participated in about 11 of their 14 moves. Now, I'm not criticizing this...I know the finger points both ways. Since my 11 moves with them, I've tacked on an additional 20 permanent residences, not counting tents, cars, and long-term couch surfing. So, back to that "just moved in" feeling...your stuff is generally confined to a couple of rooms. As you shuffle around opening doors, wondering where you'll put your 'stuff', you're reminded of the fact that it's a fresh dwelling by that empty sound. A sort of a hollowness that you can feel.

Funny that. Lately I get that fresh, "just moved in" feeling all the time! I sort of like it...for the time being anyway...before I become lonely...or before I become the brunt of "empty" humour.

Here's a little collage depicting the emptiness of my house....


...the barren floors
...the desolate shelves
...the desertified rooms
...the exposed, forsaken bath tub (showers have become a challenge...I point the nozzle towards the wall and hope for the best)
...the linen closet wasteland

I liken it to the Death Valley of homes.

But, all is not lost! Amongst the vast arid wood floor landscapes inhabited only by the occasional feral dust bunny there lies hope. Hope in the new beginning.

I present to you the Phoenix of 7th street...which was once banished to the garage(Hades) in favour of higher quality, survived over a year of harsh elements...now rises from the dust...

My box of kitchen "stuff"!

The Phoenix may fill some voids but other voids must be filled by adaptation. Not to be confused with evolution(which doesn't exist). What is one thing that always seems to inhabit a home and serves no useful purpose in the modern day of the internet? Give up? The YELLOW PAGES!! Yours truly couldn't find his cutting board in the belly of Phoenix but I did find the ever-lingering and mostly cursed and unwelcome YP in drawer.

Voila...


So. There you go. I may be having my own little "Into the Wild" episode here but at least the old Yellow Pages are here to save my ass. (not only save it...I can think of other uses for YP!)

The Yellow Pages, the Higgs Boson of my void. Who would have though?

September 1, 2008

nieces, Brownian Motion style

My stochastic existence yesterday took me to my sister's place for a little surprise visit. Having not visited in a while it took a few minutes to convert the shyness of my nieces into the little clinging monkeys that I so enjoy. It's pretty neat to see their personalities and interests develop. Ember, junior nature nerd, is 4 and Ivy the analyzer is just about 2.

Being a nice day outside we quickly suited up for adventures at the park. Crossing the street, soccer, blowing dandelions and disaster containment led us to the "wee wees" (Ivy-speak for swings) where we hung out for a while. Ember had Erika to explain the various cloud types, including the term "nimbus" (which I learned means a cloud that produces rain). I had Ivy on my lap who was busy saying "weee, weee", punctuated by the odd "dat" while pointing at something.

Round 2 outside, after a bathroom intermission, took us to a little community garden across the street. Ember and Erika bee-lined for the veggie patch to learn the names of all the plants, which flowers were edible, why some tomatoes are green and some red. It seemed she was already quite familiar with all that but still needed some pronunciation tips for "nasturtiums". Before joining the veggie patch, Ivy directed us to a rototiller on the periphery of the scene. Encountering no resistance from me, we had a "basics of rototiller 1" lecture...covering the blades ("dangerous, don't touch"), the motor("moves it"), spark plug("zaps"), exhaust("hot"), and the control panel. The throttle had little icons of a turtle ("slow") and a rabbit ("fast") which she seemed to enjoy (mental note: revisit this interface once the rabbit and hare story+analogy has been learned). I can't wait for rototiller-2 and 3 where we'll cover "magnetos", "2 vs 4 stroke", and the differences between a rototiller drive("horizontal"...good for go-carts) and "vertical"(typical, useless lawn mower).

On to the jungle gyms, slides, and stuff. Many ups and downs, near misses, don't throw rocks at other kids lessons, that's dangerous lessons kept us on our toes for a while. Eventually, getting bored with the play structure, Ember wandered over to a tiny tree aka "baby pine" and started gently covering its base with pine needles and other organics collected from the area. "it'll keep it warm so it'll grow big and the pine beetle won't get it and I'll water it too" was the motivation. She's quite fascinated by the pine beetle and was eager to hear from me that the beetle only eats a teeny bit of the bark inside the tree but then the whole thing dies...she ran over to Erika and explained word-for-word this new revelation...and, in return, learned the term "phloem layer"...Erika's replacement for my "teeny bit" vocab.

Turning to locate Ivy, and possible trouble, I was relieved to see her taking a look at the playground's modular construction...the joints, pipes, and bolts. We learned about "Allen bolts" and made a game of trying to find as many as possible. This reached a mini-crescendo when we happened upon a "different" type of bolt. I started in on the differences between Allen bolts and the newly discovered "torx" bolt but she just laughed at me. I don't know quite how to take that...I'd like to think that she's just a toddler and can't comprehend such things but I reckon closer to the truth is that her mental capacity to learn far outstrips my own and the the bolts being different is such an obvious, and thus hilarious, fact to make a lesson about.

Before going inside, Ivy and I decided to take a peek at my bike that was suspended off the back of my car. Turning the front wheel proved to be a hit...as did the chain ring when her head smashed into it. As the bawling decibels ramped up I gave her a little hug and started to quickly explain the bicycle sprocket and drive train. After about 3 seconds her knowledge receptors overtook her pain receptors and she eagerly soaked in some basics. I left out "gear ratios" but pretty much covered everything else...including the tactile element of "pointy and hard" ...and also "dirty". A careful touch of the end of a chain ring cog with the tip of her finger led to some giggles. Ember then demonstrated the proper method of "ducking under" the pointy and dirty parts of the bike while I explained the technique. "Bikes are cool" would be the net result of that interaction.


Ember explaining something to me...


Ivy enjoying life...


Happy sibs...


Happy feet...


Ivy and uncle John...


Hugs!


Belly button...


Cuddle puddle...

August 24, 2008

seven summits

Getting up to date on blogging is much like doing a pile of dishes...digital house-keeping.
The "seven summits" trail is in Rossland and is worth a visit.

starts with a lot of climbing...


fantastic views...


Klingon conferring with Alice...


Travis and Borg...


Alice coming...


Travis going...


Lunchtime...(they are smiling)...


Travis was the driving hero as we pushed on late at night to get home. As the eyelids began to drop and my brain slowly became mush I remember having a conversation with myself in my head...

me: I'm tired
.......time gone by....
me: Maybe I'll make myself look awake so I just appear non-talkative and not just a deadbeat passenger. (sit up 'straight')
.......time gone by....
me: I need to come up with some engaging conversation...
.......time gone by....
me: Maybe we can play a game....come up with words that start with the letter "a"...no, that's stupid
.......time gone by....
me: I wonder if Travis is falling asleep.

...then a bunny rabbit darted out...
Travis: "A rabbit just crossed the highway...I hope I didn't hit him!"
Me: "No, I don't think you hit him." Like I would know...but it was an opening to make myself appear awake.

.....some more time....

finally, some stimulating conversation came to mind...
Me: "I guess I'll have to give the bike a good cleaning."

..a little time gone by...

Travis: "Yup."

That was about it.

...a few weeks ago...keystone

This time, armed with more time and modern technology, actually got to the end of the trail. The un-blogged (and therefore non-existent?) previous attempt was last year.

The camp spot at head of trail...nothing like morning coffee with mountain views!


A view on the trail...I know there is technology to 'stitch' photos together quite nicely (and even erase people if you don't like them) but I don't know how it works.




Bikes! We all love bikes!

...a while ago...

Henkka and I met in Canmore for a weekend of meat and climbing.


I forget what routes we did but I do remember having chicken the first night and steak on the second night (and bacon covered mushrooms!).

The campground maps, although printed on semi-gloss with a paragraph on the back of each one, made for only marginally adequate plates.

August 8, 2008

...anyone see my wallet?

It's blue and has a very faded "fabulous las Vegas" on it. I'd very much like it back...with my id...and my 600 dollars.

I guess that's what you get for leaving it on the roof of your car and then driving off.

I'd like to think that all humans are honest.

July 29, 2008

new old sport

Mountain biking!

I haven't been so excited about mountain biking since 1986 when my buddy Jeff and I went in the first known races together. "The Hell of the Desert" was the first race in Kamloops...I think Jeff was first or second and I was third. Him on his Fischer Hoo-Koo-ee-Koo and me on Jeff's old Kuwahara Shasta that cost me 300 bucks(rip-off...he's still a business man). So much has changed since the days of hite-rites, bio-pace, 18 speeds, long stems, double-butted chromolly tubing, u-brakes, and rigid everything. After nearly 20 years of neglecting the sport, I've taken the plunge and purchased a rather sexy machine. In fact, all modern machines are sexy. They have personality...and are well travelled. Mine travels over 6 inches front and back, has hydraulic disc brakes, 27 speeds, and tubing you'd find on the space shuttle. It's a different game. If I were to capture my memories of mountain biking from the past, they would include...
-80's: steep hill climbing...the steeper the hill, the more a man the boy was.
-80's: a particular rocky and bumpy downhill...on mount Dufferin in Kamloops...I remember the vibrations were so severe I could hardly hang on to the bars and use my u-brake.
-mid 90's: the twonie race in Whistler...did fine on uphill part but remember a combination of shitting my pants and fore-arm cramps on the downhill topped off by people laughing at my bike.

Laugh no longer for I have the beast!

I've joined the local band-wagon of people (re)discovering the sport. Recent memories include...
-smashing through anything
-rocks and roots are no longer obstacles.
-Ryan chasing me down a trail egging me on but at the same time, due to guilt, advising me to 'take it easy Simms'. (he broke Rob's wrist)
-Verena: "Oh, come on John, you can do that drop....come on!!" (as I'm pussy-footing over a steep thingy)

yup, different sport. And I love those brakes.

And that pino grigio is one ounce from being gone...and none of the house chores I wanted to do are done but I don't care...cuz I just wanna riiiiiide!!! cuz you don't know me!!

...business time...back in December...

Back in December myself and my biz partners, Derek, Brian, Jason, and Ric sold our wares. The 'ceremony' went down in a high-rise downtown Vancouver.
Here's the papers we had to sign...

signing...
Derek, concentrated...note the excel sheet...


Brian, confident...


Me, eternally suspicious...


...I missed Jason and Ric...they're quick signers.

The after math...I mean aftermath...


Our lawyer...Zafar Khan...yes, cool name...and great to work with.


Me taking a break amidst the groups of chatter and negotiating...

for Carlos

hey Carlos...
here's a video I made of the robot spider that was outside our building in Vancouver...

...still loving oil...

look how pretty this graph is...




how about a happiness chart?

Uto

Here's Anna on Uto...

that's right...on a roll

ya...if I were a dancer I'd be this guy...

...and I can't quite decide if this is lame or inspirational. Now did I just pull flashdance out of my ass or is there a story there? It turns out that I had a car once with a tape player...and the only tape I'd play was the soundtrack to Flashdance that I bought at a garage sale...I can't tell you why exactly, that's just the way it was. Like I had another car once that would only play Midnight Oil and occasionally Holly Cole. My current car plays tapes and has a 5 disc cd changer...whatever that is...under the seat...but it doen't play ipods.

Maybe everyone needs a hero...or a hairdoo.

perhaps now is a good time to have retro hour end.

another lame post..

I'm all about the lame. so lame, in fact, that it took me about 10 minutes to figure out how to make a post...really...I did some stupid thing with my 'template' that hides the banner at the top where you can 'make new post' or whatever...anyway I had to fiddle with my browser to make it appear again.

Maybe it's the Pino Grigio that I found in the fridge. Augmenting a late dinner consisting of crackers, cheese, and olives from a can at 9:00pm, I think it's going right to my head...the wine, not being proud of my culinary disabilities.

you don't know me....

whatever.

blog infidel..

hmmm.....soooo....what a lame post. but i need something to break the ice.

April 25, 2008

catchup...

..a major event in the valley..."la combat de reigns"...a contest to see who's milking cow is the most dominant.

the cows...



a farmer with his winning cow...



through the eyes of a farmer...



man-cow love...



funny warning sign...not sure if it was meant to be funny.



group tour on lunch break...(the Swiss are very serious about their lunch breaks)



groovy rock shingles...Harry, are you out there?



Old Roman amphitheatre from a spectator's perspective...




and, from a participant's perspective!

this and that...

Here's a pic of the statue of St. Bernard at the mountain pass named after him.The Patron Saint of Mountaineers and Skiers. At the pass is a small hotel and the monestary where the dogs used to be bred. The road to the pass is closed in the winter but you can easily skin up to it...and continue up numerous possible ridges, etc. The pass also is the border with Italy...which made me feel like a modern day Hannibal...except he had elephants (supposedly) and went the other direction.



The rumour that some ski resorts are covering their glaciers is true...here is proof (if one takes media as proof these days)...noting that you can't cover your glacier unless you have a permit!




chocolate...a miniscule sample of the varieties...




a view of the town we're in...Martigny...I'll point out Henkka's place in person...




biking down the Rhone valley...





it's not all cheese and chocolate here!!




happy swiss cows...



I'll try and figure out a way to get the cow bell sounds on the blog...

April 22, 2008

dairy porn diary

...so I found this stuff called Reblochon...I think it's French for "kick ass cheese"...perhaps not. Read about Reblochon...it's interesting.

Anyway, here it is...



and a close up...noting the soft washed rind

Down with Pasteurization!!!


I also found some 'yogurt butter'...you can eat it by the spoonful, no kidding.



...bread is now just a delivery mechanism for high fat animal products.